100 dates roundup – the first 5 dates

I’ve been terrible about updating about my dates, so here’s a roundup of the first 5 dates.

1/100 – the younger man

AD was the first date of 100 dates, and also the youngest, at 28. He was a little atypical, because he wasn’t recommended to me by a friend, he just read about 100 dates and emailed me asking ‘How do I get a date with Sarah?’. I wrote about our date (at the Carlton hotel in Melbourne) in my column for the ABC, entitled “No Scientologists, No Smokers“. (No, he’s not a sci, but he did smoke.)

It was on my date with AD that I made my only mid-date Twitter update (“Secret date update! Fly-fishing & tasers?! Oh no, he smokes! 3rd G&T incoming!”).

Overall it was a fun date – conversation flowed easily, partly because we both work in the media and have a keen interest in politics, so we talked shop for a lot of the night. But it made me realise that when I set up 100 dates, I should really have laid down the law about a few dealbreakers, including that I don’t want to hang out with smokers, and that if you are going to remark that 36 is “so old” that you probably shouldn’t go on a date with me.

2/100 – the one with the picnic

There’s a kind of cute story to how MB came to be nominated for a date with me. He was nominated by his friend Nick. You see, Nick is happily dating MB’s ex girlfriend. “The least I can do is point him in the direction of someone whose company he might enjoy”.

MB impressed me by offering to lay on a picnic for our date. Any man who takes initiative for organising a date (especially involving preparing a meal) is all right by me. We met at the St Kilda botanical gardens one Saturday for a lunch date. I was apologetic as I was a little tired and hungover from the night before. We found a lovely shady tree to sit under and then witnessed a free comedy show provided by a couple of young guys who were making very half hearted attempts to put up a tent, interspersed with long lazy beer breaks.  Turned out later that they had friends coming, who brought a BBQ. We both cracked up laughing when the two guys turned to us and said “We’ve been trying to put up the tent, tell them!”.

MB turned out to be a well rounded geek guy, who if I remember correctly, plays the cello. All up, a fairly low key lunch date, which perfectly suited the St Kilda Saturday afternoon vibe.

3/100 – the one who got away

#3, DC, was recommended to me by a mutual friend who now lives in California. We were introduced to each other via a one line Facebook message from our mutual friend: “DC, Sarah, I hereby implore you to go off and meet each other at a coffee shop and discuss nerdly things.” Yep, that was it. Not much to go on, but we got to chatting on Facebook and made a date. In the interests of full disclosure, DC warned me that our mutual friend hadn’t actually clapped eyes on him in about 20 years, so his recommendation might be considered a little out of date. But I do trust my friend’s judgement, and DC seemed like a nice enough geek guy. Plus, I couldn’t help but notice on DC’s Facebook page that he has met Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica (played by, and I had to look this up, Katee Sackhoff). He had a photo taken with her to prove it! I was really looking forward to meeting him and saying “oooooh Starbuck, what was she LIKE?”… but sadly I never got the chance, because a couple of days before our date, DC emailed to cancel, saying he was rekindling things with his ex. Damn, now I’ll never get to hear the Starbuck story.

Oh, DC was the 2nd geek out of 3 dates so far. Spotting a trend here?

4/100 – the one in the suit

#4, NB, came via a recommendation from a geeky friend of mine. Yep, NB was the 3rd geek in 4 dates. It’s like my friends KNOW I’m a dirty great geek fancier, right? Crazy.

I was expecting this would be a fun date, because the friend who filled out the recommendation questionnaire answered the question “Which of the following first date activities do you think your friend would enjoy” by asking NB what he thought of the options and reporting back that:

“He expressed some concern that visiting the penguin colony ‘seemed like the kind of thing you’d do if you’re planning to do away with someone’.”

So I went into the date expecting someone with a slightly black sense of humour, and I wasn’t disappointed. We went for beer and saganaki on Lygon Street, and despite his very upmarket, besuited appearance, NB was very funny and I was quickly put at ease with him. With one beer in me, I was quite happy to waffle on about politics, the implications of the death of privacy online and I really enjoyed the quick pace of the conversation. Sadly I had to cut things short in order to race off to date #5!

5/100 – the one going to Afghanistan

Date #5, AW, came recommended by a group of his friends. I was a little intrigued that he had a whole group of people trying to set him up on a date, so I emailed back and asked for an explanation:

“Regarding how it came about that our group of friends put [AW] forward for a thing like 100 dates… this is a long, long story. To cut things as short as possible. The group is made up of guys that went to uni with AW, and/or work with, or have worked with him. Over the years we’ve organised boys nights out in the hope of getting him to meet someone, setting him up with friends etc, and even sending an application into a UK reality TV show while he was posted there in the hope that it might help him find someone.”

So clearly he’s a nice guy with some pretty caring friends. In fact, I’d say they’re concerned, judging by the Twitter message one of them sent me when I mentioned I was leaving to meet AW for our date: “Be gentle!”

Now the thing about this which cracks me up is that AW is an engineering geek who works for the Australian military. Dude’s served in IRAQ and is about to ship out to AFGHANISTAN. But *I* need to be gentle. Because clearly I’m a scary man eater who is so fearsome even experience in warzones can’t compare. Sheesh, lighten up, friends of AW.

Fortunately, AW wasn’t timid, in fact he was quite impressively calm about the fact that he was leaving for Afghanistan the next day. He was genial, smart and coped with all my questions and rants about the role of the Australian armed forces overseas with real grace (It was an emotive topic for me, because I have family who have served, so it’s quite close to home for me). We managed to cover such ideal first date conversation topics as waterboarding, and my divorce, all while consuming some really lovely pastry from Brunetti’s cafe in Lygon Street.

It felt pretty weird to end the night saying “Look after yourself in Afghanistan.” Meep. AW promised to include me in his email updates, so I’m looking forward to hearing about his adventures. (Stay safe, and come home healthy, AW!)

So there you go, a quick roundup of dates 1-5. Did you notice that 4/5 were geeks of some sort? I can’t say I’m at all suprised.

I’m conscious that so far, 100 dates has been all about me, and none of the guys have gotten to put forward their comments or their side of the story. So I’ve invited them all to contribute some comments about our date, or about me, or about what they thought about the whole thing. At least one of them has promised to write something, so I’ll post their comments here on the blog as they come through.