1/10 – the first date
TV was recommended to me by a mutual friend who lives interstate. We were introduced on twitter, which proved a very speedy way of doing things – the actual recommendation form filtered through to me after we’d already arranged our date!
We met at the State Library on a sunny afternoon, wandered into QV to get coffee, and sat on the astroturf lawn in the village square area. We talked iphones and media and study; it was a good chat.
On the short walk back to my work we confessed how weird it felt to be doing this date as part of the larger 100 Dates project. I think it was probably stranger for TV than for me; I don’t know how I’d feel going out with someone who I knew was lining up more dates even before we met! But we agreed that if we saw each other again it would probably feel more natural.
Whee! And they’re off! (In a race-horse kinda way, not an old cheese kinda way) Go you!
Something that’s just occurred to me is that, in the future, you’ll be going on other first dates, whilst having a potential second date also on the cards (and presumably in the back of your mind)… will that also be weird for you?
I guess that multiple-dating can be a bit of a double-edged sword. On one hand, you’re keeping your options open, which is arguably wise and advisable. But on the other hand, the fact that you want to keep your options open in light of having dated somebody could be interpreted by the datee as meaning that you’re not *that* into them, seeing as you still want to see other people.
So I’m curious. Would you abandon the project on the basis of a first date, if it looked extremely promising? Would it be more a case of waiting until the end of the ten dates, and then deciding which one(s) you’d possibly want to have a second date with? Or would it be a matter of having second (and maybe third) dates in-between having first dates with other 100dates candidates?
Or do you totally see all of this as totally being a non-issue, and have a different outlook on the project?
No, I wouldn’t abandon the project if I met someone I felt a spark for early on. It would be different if there were 100 dates looming, but ten is not all that many.
I don’t really see it as a double-edged sword in the context of the project; it would perhaps be different if I hadn’t publicly stated I’d be going on ten dates. I think anyone who goes on a date with me accepts that there will be more dates after them, unless they are lucky number ten!
And as I am quite pragmatic and not one to rush things, getting out of the project on the basis of one meeting just isn’t my style, not to mention it might feel as though I’m putting the pressure on for something to come out of that date! So I would prefer to keep going on the dates and see what developed naturally out of it all…
I went through this exact thing. I met Current Date after my first 100 dates date! Everyone involved knew that I was doing 100 dates, so I didn’t feel I was doing anything wrong.
Despite that, it felt awkward saying to Current Date, ‘I need to go now, I have a 100 dates date’. He admitted recently that it felt weird for him too.
I am a ‘date one person at a time’ kind of person, so when it became apparent that Current Date and I both wanted to keep seeing each other, we had a talk about it and I decided to stop 100 dates.
I agree with Lisa – it’s quite in the open that she’s doing 100 dates, so if people aren’t fine with the idea that you’re going to be going on a few dates with different people, it’s probably best they don’t participate.
Was that 1/10 that you gave the first date? That can’t be good! I’ve only had one date in my life really when I was 14, and we went to see the film “Silence of The Lambs”, so it wasn’t very romantic really. Since then, I’ve just gone with the flow and seen what develops naturally. After being with the one partner for 10 years I didn’t need to think about it. Dating seems so intense, putting yourself out there to be possibly rejected. I just find the notion scary, so I prefer to just meet people and see if there is a connection that happens, it’s all about the feeling don’t you think? I guess I’m on the dating scene now, but I don’t really view it that way, and think that lining people up for the possibility that it doesn’t work out is just wrong! That’s definitely going to put pressure on the situation, and I would never do that to anyone. One at a time is the only way for me. All the best with your dating, hopefully the second date is better then the first! Cheers
Actually, that was the first of ten dates, not a score of 1/10!