Posted by Sarah on Mar 22, 2010 in
Date diary - Lisa We’re happy to introduce you to our latest 100 dates contender – Lisa Dempster! We’re on the lookout for 10 dates for Lisa – so please read on and see if you know a single guy (or the right gal!) who’d make a great date for her.
Lisa is a 30 year old Melburnian, who works in publishing and arts events. She’s outgoing, rides her bike everywhere and has a small dog with a big heart. Lisa is seeking someone who appreciates all these things, is up for sharing some adventures, but can also bring a little calm to her life.
Lisa Dempster. Photo by Bronwen Hyde.
If you’d like an idea of just how eclectic this lady is, check out her Twitter profile!
“Author of Neon Pilgrim. Editor of The Melb Veg Food Guide. Publisher at Vignette Press. Editor. Writer. Vegan. Bike rider. Festival director. Henro.”
Lisa was an obvious choice for 100 dates, not least because 10 – count ‘em, 10! of her friends nominated her. That’s a lot of friend love right there, and when you read what they had to say about Lisa, we suspect you’ll develop a little crush on her too!
“Lisa is the person you wish you had the right person to introduce to because you can’t quite believe that she hasn’t been snapped up.”
From Rachel:
What I love most about Lisa is that she is completely without pretension, and although she sometimes doubts herself, she never lets this affect who she is and how she acts. Lisa is bold and outgoing, but with the author’s need for a bit of peace and quiet. She needs to write like she needs to breathe, and her blog, social media work and recent appointment to an exciting (and prestigious) position in the writing world reflect how talented she is. Lisa is a published author and editor with her own publishing press and she is very active on her blog and Twitter. She has the happy combination of being a successful and competent business woman as well as a creative type.
Lisa is a committed vegan for animal, environmental and health reasons, and is very willing to have a friendly, informative and interesting exchange of ideas about it – but she will never preach nor would she dream of launching into a tirade over the dinner table if her date ordered steak.
Lisa is also brave – she completed the arduous Shikoku Pilgramage of 88 Temples in Japan on foot, sleeping rough and by herself – and then she wrote a book about it. I can’t say enough what a gutsy and courageous journey this was (and it would made excellent dinner conversation with a date, don’t you think?).
Lisa is the devoted human companion of the feistiest, most ballsy dog in the world – Kimba the Chihuahua. I have seen Kimba, who weighs about 2 kilos, take on a Great Dane for territory. But she loves her mum and is happiest on her lap.
Lisa is also a passionate bike rider and although she can do all her own repairs (because she’s an indpendent woman!) she would probably totally melt over a guy who could talk bike with her.
She would pick you up at 3am from anywhere (in a cab – she chooses not to have a car) and make you a cup of tea (or a stiff drink if it was required).
From Vanessa:
I’ve known Lisa for about a decade. She’s always been inquisitive with an amazing knack for adventure. She is a talented writer and raconteur.
She is a dependable and trustworthy friend and advisor, who is generous with her experience and support. She’s irreverent, self-effacing and hilariously witty. Best of all, Lisa has a innate sense of fun, which is very contagious.
Lisa’s independent, the sort of woman who doesn’t lose herself in her relationships. Some of the things which make her so interesting, are also the qualities which mean she hasn’t had as much time to find a partner as other people.
Lisa enriches the lives of those around her, with her enthusiasm and drive. Wherever she is, she makes a difference. I believe someone would be very lucky to share experiences with someone with such a lust for life.
Lisa Dempster - Photo by www.melissahobbs.com
So why’s she single?
Her friend Caroline says: “I suspect the reason Lisa’s been single for a while is because she’s been busy doing other things: writing, travel, setting up a business. Lots of great things have just fallen into place for her in the last few months and I think she’s looked up and realised it would be fun to have some company.”
What kind of guy (or gal) would suit Lisa?
Lisa’s 30, so someone 25 to 35+ is probably in the right age range. But as her friend Mal said “Brains are more important than age, seriously.”
From Rachel: “Lisa is a passionate bike rider and although she can do all her own repairs (because she’s an indpendent woman!) she would probably totally melt over a guy who could talk bike with her.”
Find out a little more about Lisa
Read her blog.
Read her book, Neon Pilgrim (you can browse or buy it on the Smashwords ebook website)
Follow her on Twitter: @lisadempster
Follow Lisa’s 100 dates adventures!
Lisa will be blogging her dating adventures for us, so you can follow her updates right here at 100 dates!
Got someone to recommend for a date with Lisa?
EDIT: 13 June 2010 – Sorry, you’re too late to recommend a friend for Lisa – she’s finished her 10 Dates. Please stay tuned to 100 Dates as we’ll soon announce the next contender.
Tags: announcements, contenders
Posted by Sarah on Mar 22, 2010 in
announcements I’m happy to announce that phase 2 of 100 dates – in which we try to find 10 dates for 10 new contenders! – is launching TODAY!
Our first contender (dater?) will be announced very soon. But first I just wanted to thank everyone who has helped by recommending friends for 100 dates – this site would be nothing without you. 
And I also wanted to thank the volunteers who have helped behind the scenes. Thanks to Melissa Hobbs for taking photos of our first contenders, and to Hilary for helping out on the website!
On with the show!
Posted by Sarah on Mar 12, 2010 in
Uncategorized Here’s a useful resource for people wanting ideas for fun dates – the $30 date night blog, which has a long list of different date ideas which cost less than $30. Thanks for the tip, @lilainoz!
Posted by Sarah on Feb 14, 2010 in
Featured,
Uncategorized Hi and welcome to the next phase of the 100 dates project. The first phase was all about finding dates for me (and that worked out pretty well!) – the next phase is about sharing the love. I said from the start that if I met someone before the 100 dates were finished, that I’d like to step into the role of matchmaker, and use 100 dates to help find dates for other people. So that’s what we’re doing now! 100 dates is now looking for 10 people to set up on 10 dates each.
The catch is, of course, that 100 dates is about recommendations – so you can’t nominate yourself to take part in 100 dates – you’ll need to be recommended by a friend. This is because 100 dates is an experiment in crowdsourcing – we’re trying out the idea that our friends and networks will hopefully be better at recommending people for us to meet, than other types of internet dating. We’re hoping that 100 dates will be different, and better, because it gets the people who know us and care about us to recommend us for dates and try to set us up with people who suit us. At its heart, 100 dates relies on the very old fashioned notion of asking our friends to introduce us to interesting and hopefully very suitable people.
I want to take part in 100 dates – will you find me 10 dates please?
Update: 28 June 2010 – Please note we have a backlog of recommendations right now, so we are NOT accepting new recommendations right now! We’ll advise via this blog and Twitter when we are ready to accept nominations for a new 100 Dates contender.
It would be great to have you – but you’ll need to find a friend to recommend you! Ask a friend directly.. .or blog about it, or tweet about it, and I bet you’ll find someone willing to put you forward (don’t forget to use the #100dates hashtag if you’re tweeting about 100 dates!). Please note that there are a few things you’ll need to do if you’re selected, so make sure you read the next section and you’re ok with all of it!
What if I’m selected as one of the 10?
There are a few things you need to know about what will be expected of you if you become one of the 10 people we’re finding dates for.
- You’ll need to supply a photo of yourself (trust me, when I was doing 100 dates without photos of the guys, it was a little nerve wracking having to turn up for dates not knowing who I was looking for!).
- You will need to be willing to go on a quick ‘pre-date’ meeting with me or one of the 100 dates helpers so we can vouch for you before sending you out on your dates. I’ve decided to add this step to 100 dates, because while I’m perfectly happy taking responsibility for my own safety when I go on dates with strangers, I think we need to take a little more responsibility when we’re trying to set up other people! Also, if we’ve met you, hopefully that will give us a better sense of what kind of dates we should be looking for on your behalf!
- You will need to be ok with the fact that 100 dates is a pretty public, online dating experiment. You’ll need to be ok with us ‘advertising’ you via the 100 dates blog and Twitter (for example: 100 dates is looking for a date for an outgoing 36 year old digital media teacher with definite geeky tendencies. We think an outgoing geek guy who shares her interest in sci fi and cycling would be perfect for her – do you know someone who fits the bill?)
- You need to be willing to “report back” on your dates! The online network who watch, support and recommend dates for the 100 dates project are the ones who make or break this project. Without them, there would be no dates! So we need to keep them informed and involved with how 100 dates is going. This means you’ll need to be ok with writing a brief Twitter or blog post reporting on your 10 dates! We can work with you to put these together, so it won’t take up too much of your time and energy. And don’t worry, this isn’t meant to be a kiss and tell dating site – if you have a look back over the 100 dates blog you’ll see I worked pretty hard to discuss my dates respectfully and without infringing on their privacy! This is how I’d like the tone of 100 dates to continue.
Will you please find 10 dates for my awesome single friend?
Update: 28 June 2010 – Please note we have a backlog of recommendations right now, so we are NOT accepting new recommendations right now! We’ll advise via this blog and Twitter when we are ready to accept nominations for a new 100 Dates contender. But if your friend has already been nominated, you CAN help them by getting a few friends to put in a supporting recommendation for them!
Please nominate your friend! You’ll need to fill out the recommendation form. And your friend will need to agree to being put forward (see the previous section, What if I’m selected as one of the 10?). We will want you to write a brief testimonial, or a recommendation for your friend, which explains why you think your friend is awesome and deserving of an awesome date (or 10). We may also contact you throughout the process to get further information about your friend, or to get your advice on whether you think dates we’re going to recommend for your friend will be suitable.
Will you find a date for my gay/bi/straight friend?
100 dates is open to single folks of any sexual orientation. What’s important is that you’re single and looking for looove.
Where is 100 dates operating now? Can you find dates for my Sydney friend?
Right now, we’re accepting nominations for dates in Sydney and Melbourne. This is because we have 100 dates helpers in those cities. But we’d be more than happy to begin looking for dates in other cities (I know we have a few interested people in Brisbane, for example!) if we have a volunteer helper in that city who can help with locational advice (ie good date venues), has an online network of locals who can help with date recommendations, and can meet 100 dates prospects face to face when needed. So… if you want 100 dates in your city, please email us and volunteer to be the 100 dates helper for your city!
New Twitter account for 100 dates!
100 dates will stay at this blog address for the moment, so make sure you subscribe to receive updates. But most of the action seems to happen on Twitter. Now that 100 dates isn’t just about finding me a date, I’ve set up a 100 dates Twitter profile, so that’s where you can follow all the action now! As always, please tag any of your own 100 dates tweets with the #100dates hashtag so we can be sure to see it!
Any other questions?
Please leave a comment and we’ll get back to you asap. In the meantime, please put your thinking caps on and help us find 10 awesome people who’d like to go out on 10 dates! Happy Valentine’s Day!
Posted by Sarah on Feb 4, 2010 in
Uncategorized Hi everyone,
So, I have some news. Hopefully it’s a good news/good news scenario, rather than a good news/bad news scenario…
The first bit of news is that… I’m not accepting any more dates right now. I’m taking a break from 100 dates while I explore a little something something with someone I met along the way.
I had a theory, right from the start of 100 dates, which was that I *would* meet someone during the 100 dates, but he wouldn’t actually be one of the hundred. And that is exactly how it turned out ( a lot sooner than I’d hoped, I have to admit!)
Since he wasn’t one of the 100 dates, so I’m not going to bust his anonymity by identifying him here (even though the crushing 13 year old inside me is dying to show you his photo and go “LOOK HOW CUTE OMG!”). So, what I will say is, he’s a pretty amazing package – smart and geeky with an often inappropriate sense of humour, and with a really affectionate sweet side. Not to mention the fact that he’s tall and dark with arresting blue eyes… seriously swoonworthy. Yes, I’m crushing out. For those of you who have been following 100 dates on Twitter (#100dates) – he is the Bladerunner date.
The other good news is that 100 dates is not ending. I said pretty much from the start that if I met someone before the 100 dates were finished, that I’d like to step into the role of matchmaker, and use 100 dates to help find dates for other people. So that’s exactly what’s going to happen. 100 dates is now going to become a group project, which helps set up 10 different people on 10 dates each.
I am really excited about this, because so many people have said to me they love the idea of 100 dates and want to try it themselves. The catch is, of course, that 100 dates is about recommendations – so you can’t nominate yourself to take part in 100 dates – you’ll need to be recommended by a friend. Stay tuned for more details on how this will work – I’m hoping to announce all the details and start accepting nominations on Valentine’s Day (February 14th).
You may have seen my post yesterday (So you think you’re a matchmaker?) asking for a volunteer to help with 100 dates when it opens up to become a group project. If you’re interested in helping out, head over and check out the post.
Thanks for all your support, comments and date recommendations along the way – 100 dates would never have gotten this far without YOU putting forward your friends to be involved. I hope now I can return the favour by helping set up YOUR friends with some dates too.
Sarah
Posted by Sarah on Feb 4, 2010 in
Uncategorized I’ve been terrible about updating about my dates, so here’s a roundup of the first 5 dates.
1/100 – the younger man
AD was the first date of 100 dates, and also the youngest, at 28. He was a little atypical, because he wasn’t recommended to me by a friend, he just read about 100 dates and emailed me asking ‘How do I get a date with Sarah?’. I wrote about our date (at the Carlton hotel in Melbourne) in my column for the ABC, entitled “No Scientologists, No Smokers“. (No, he’s not a sci, but he did smoke.)
It was on my date with AD that I made my only mid-date Twitter update (“Secret date update! Fly-fishing & tasers?! Oh no, he smokes! 3rd G&T incoming!”).
Overall it was a fun date – conversation flowed easily, partly because we both work in the media and have a keen interest in politics, so we talked shop for a lot of the night. But it made me realise that when I set up 100 dates, I should really have laid down the law about a few dealbreakers, including that I don’t want to hang out with smokers, and that if you are going to remark that 36 is “so old” that you probably shouldn’t go on a date with me.
2/100 – the one with the picnic
There’s a kind of cute story to how MB came to be nominated for a date with me. He was nominated by his friend Nick. You see, Nick is happily dating MB’s ex girlfriend. “The least I can do is point him in the direction of someone whose company he might enjoy”.
MB impressed me by offering to lay on a picnic for our date. Any man who takes initiative for organising a date (especially involving preparing a meal) is all right by me. We met at the St Kilda botanical gardens one Saturday for a lunch date. I was apologetic as I was a little tired and hungover from the night before. We found a lovely shady tree to sit under and then witnessed a free comedy show provided by a couple of young guys who were making very half hearted attempts to put up a tent, interspersed with long lazy beer breaks. Turned out later that they had friends coming, who brought a BBQ. We both cracked up laughing when the two guys turned to us and said “We’ve been trying to put up the tent, tell them!”.
MB turned out to be a well rounded geek guy, who if I remember correctly, plays the cello. All up, a fairly low key lunch date, which perfectly suited the St Kilda Saturday afternoon vibe.
3/100 – the one who got away
#3, DC, was recommended to me by a mutual friend who now lives in California. We were introduced to each other via a one line Facebook message from our mutual friend: “DC, Sarah, I hereby implore you to go off and meet each other at a coffee shop and discuss nerdly things.” Yep, that was it. Not much to go on, but we got to chatting on Facebook and made a date. In the interests of full disclosure, DC warned me that our mutual friend hadn’t actually clapped eyes on him in about 20 years, so his recommendation might be considered a little out of date. But I do trust my friend’s judgement, and DC seemed like a nice enough geek guy. Plus, I couldn’t help but notice on DC’s Facebook page that he has met Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica (played by, and I had to look this up, Katee Sackhoff). He had a photo taken with her to prove it! I was really looking forward to meeting him and saying “oooooh Starbuck, what was she LIKE?”… but sadly I never got the chance, because a couple of days before our date, DC emailed to cancel, saying he was rekindling things with his ex. Damn, now I’ll never get to hear the Starbuck story.
Oh, DC was the 2nd geek out of 3 dates so far. Spotting a trend here?
4/100 – the one in the suit
#4, NB, came via a recommendation from a geeky friend of mine. Yep, NB was the 3rd geek in 4 dates. It’s like my friends KNOW I’m a dirty great geek fancier, right? Crazy.
I was expecting this would be a fun date, because the friend who filled out the recommendation questionnaire answered the question “Which of the following first date activities do you think your friend would enjoy” by asking NB what he thought of the options and reporting back that:
“He expressed some concern that visiting the penguin colony ‘seemed like the kind of thing you’d do if you’re planning to do away with someone’.”
So I went into the date expecting someone with a slightly black sense of humour, and I wasn’t disappointed. We went for beer and saganaki on Lygon Street, and despite his very upmarket, besuited appearance, NB was very funny and I was quickly put at ease with him. With one beer in me, I was quite happy to waffle on about politics, the implications of the death of privacy online and I really enjoyed the quick pace of the conversation. Sadly I had to cut things short in order to race off to date #5!
5/100 – the one going to Afghanistan
Date #5, AW, came recommended by a group of his friends. I was a little intrigued that he had a whole group of people trying to set him up on a date, so I emailed back and asked for an explanation:
“Regarding how it came about that our group of friends put [AW] forward for a thing like 100 dates… this is a long, long story. To cut things as short as possible. The group is made up of guys that went to uni with AW, and/or work with, or have worked with him. Over the years we’ve organised boys nights out in the hope of getting him to meet someone, setting him up with friends etc, and even sending an application into a UK reality TV show while he was posted there in the hope that it might help him find someone.”
So clearly he’s a nice guy with some pretty caring friends. In fact, I’d say they’re concerned, judging by the Twitter message one of them sent me when I mentioned I was leaving to meet AW for our date: “Be gentle!”
Now the thing about this which cracks me up is that AW is an engineering geek who works for the Australian military. Dude’s served in IRAQ and is about to ship out to AFGHANISTAN. But *I* need to be gentle. Because clearly I’m a scary man eater who is so fearsome even experience in warzones can’t compare. Sheesh, lighten up, friends of AW.
Fortunately, AW wasn’t timid, in fact he was quite impressively calm about the fact that he was leaving for Afghanistan the next day. He was genial, smart and coped with all my questions and rants about the role of the Australian armed forces overseas with real grace (It was an emotive topic for me, because I have family who have served, so it’s quite close to home for me). We managed to cover such ideal first date conversation topics as waterboarding, and my divorce, all while consuming some really lovely pastry from Brunetti’s cafe in Lygon Street.
It felt pretty weird to end the night saying “Look after yourself in Afghanistan.” Meep. AW promised to include me in his email updates, so I’m looking forward to hearing about his adventures. (Stay safe, and come home healthy, AW!)
So there you go, a quick roundup of dates 1-5. Did you notice that 4/5 were geeks of some sort? I can’t say I’m at all suprised.
I’m conscious that so far, 100 dates has been all about me, and none of the guys have gotten to put forward their comments or their side of the story. So I’ve invited them all to contribute some comments about our date, or about me, or about what they thought about the whole thing. At least one of them has promised to write something, so I’ll post their comments here on the blog as they come through.
Posted by Sarah on Feb 3, 2010 in
Uncategorized When I started 100 dates, I was surprised by how many people loved the idea and asked me to set up some dates for them too! Since so many people have already been generous enough to recommend people for me to date, I’d like to return the favour. So I’m thinking about opening up 100 dates to other people, and launching it on Valentine’s Day!
Initially, I’d like to find 10 people who want to try 100 dates, and set up 10 dates for each of them. That’s 100 dates right there! Of course, since this is an experiment which relies on recommendations, those 10 people won’t be able to put themselves forward – they’ll need to be recommended by a friend! But before we get to the stage of asking people to nominate their friends for the 100 dates treatment, I need to find a helper.
Right now, I’m looking for someone (preferably Sydney-based) who’d like to be my partner in crime. Do you see yourself as a bit of a matchmaker? Want to help me use online social networking to help people put forward their awesome friends for dates? Ideally you’ll be someone who’s organised (because you’ll be dealing with incoming recommendations, as well as helping to organise dates, suggest possible date venues, etc etc) and reasonably good at communicating with people.
If you’re interested, please leave a comment here with your email address, send me a message on Twitter (@stokely) or just email me directly on sarah@foxforcefive.com. Cheers!
Posted by Sarah on Jan 25, 2010 in
Uncategorized One of the most common questions I get about 100 dates (apart from, will you quit 100 dates if you meet Mr Right?) is – tell us your worst horror dating story!
Honestly? It’s been quite a while since dating was a truly horrible experience for me. I’m older & more confident now. These days even a poor date tends to just be a little dull. But I can certainly dredge up some horror stories from the archives. In fact, here’s a short story I wrote in 2004, which was a very thinly veiled account of an RSVP date I went on in Sydney.
I sent a copy of the story to the guy I wrote it about, a few months after we’d stopped seeing each other. He wrote back saying ‘you made me seem much cooler than I am’. No, RC, you really were that cool. And I really was that neurotic. Ugh.
Modern Love
I’m a well balanced girl. The kind who takes meeting new people completely in her stride. Confident. It’s taken me a while to become like this – after all I’m 30 now. Even the prospect of a blind date didn’t phase me. I didn’t have pre-date jitters. I didn’t give it a second thought until I was about to walk through the door to meet him.
But you see, there’s a problem with not being a self-conscious person. On occasion, self-consciousness is called for, and then you’re woefully underprepared.
Case in point: I’m meeting someone for a coffee. I haven’t met him before. It’s a blind date. We found each other on an internet dating site. We’ve exchanged a couple of emails. I’ve seen his photo, he’s seen mine. We’re going to have coffee. None of this phases me until I get to the cafe. I push open the door to walk in off the street.
Suddenly I feel like I’m screentesting for the first time. Where should I look? Where should I place my feet? Will he be looking out for me? Should I let him see me first?
My body seems to have gone on strike. I’ve recently been thawed out from a 100 year cryogenic sleep. My own body is a stranger and I’m learning how to walk again.
I propel myself forward, somehow, and look around for the guy in the photo.
There are a row of tables along the left hand side of the cafe, against the wall. Towards the back of the cafe, a guy in a suit half stands up. That must be him…
Oh god. My heart sinks.
Oh. God.
He doesn’t look anything like I expected. He doesn’t look anything like his picture.
He’s in a suit. He’s really attractive. I wasn’t prepared for this.
We stumble through introductions. First names only. We share a polite laugh over the awkwardness of our engineered meeting.
I was expecting some shy, sweet guy in a rumpled t-shirt. I’m dressed to meet *that* guy. I have haystack hair. I didn’t brush my hair today. My boots are scuffed, they haventt been polished in a year.
I’m cringing on the inside. I’m not the girl he’s supposed to be meeting. There should be a cut now, and a second take. This time a well groomed girl in a Newtown-chic dress will walk in the door and sit down with the good looking guy in the suit.
See, self consciousness would have helped here. What kind of normal girl walks out her front door in the morning without brushing her hair? A normal girl would have taken extra care this morning, because she was excited about having a blind date and wanted to make a good impression. But I didn’t even brush my hair.
On the surface though, or should I say below the surface, it’s going ok. Thank god we can both talk. The guy I was expecting (rumpled t-shirt guy) was shy. A shy, stumbling guy with a cute sense of humour. But the guy across from me is not shy. He’s funny and talkative and puts on silly accents and makes conversation with the waitress. I appreciate this. I’m usually the one who has to carry the conversation. This at least I don’t need to worry about.
“So have you done this before?” he asks. I think we’re supposed to be embarrassed that we’re trying online dating. But I’m too busy being embarrassed about my dishevelled appearance (why didn’t I brush my hair?!) to be embarrassed about this too. Who shows up to a first date looking like they’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards?
Anyway, we establish that neither of us has had an internet blind date before. We’re both trying it because friends have done it. We’re both novices. We’re in the same boat. We can laugh about it.
I’m glad neither of us has done this before. I imagine guys trying to break the ice with girls on blind dates by making jokes about dreadful blind dates they’ve had with other girls. I imagine being the girl across the table calculating how long until one of them is relating her story to the next blind date.
I should tell him about my first impression of him. About my embarrassment over my haystack hair. It will probably make him laugh. Maybe it will difffuse some of this initial meeting nervousness. Maybe he’ll even be charmed. But I can’t tell him. Usually I enjoy making jokes at my own expense, but not tonight. Too nervous, no bravado to burn. Maybe I can tell him another time. If we see each other again.
After we’ve both had a coffee, he asks if I’d like to go across the road for a drink. I’m hanging out for a cigarette, he explains. He wants to keep talking, cool. I must not be making as bad an impression as I thought.
He starts rolling himself a cigarette as soon as we walk out of the cafe. I watch, because I have a thing about men’s hands. His are good. Long, slender fingers, with one silver ring on the ring finger of his left hand. Entertwined silver bands, maybe Celtic but I can’t tell. I want to grin to myself. Is it an odd thing to fancy guys who have nice hands and wear silver rings?
His hands have obviously rolled a million cigarettes before this one.
As we cross King Street and head for the Marly Bar, I size him up. He’s tall, taller than me. And slender. Wears a suit well. His head is shaved, and it suits him. Thin face, cheekbones. So much better looking than his photos. But I’m far too shy to tell him that.
We settle down in a corner of the Marly bar. He drinks scotch, I have vodka. We take turns buying rounds. We skim over relationship resumes. I manage to work into the conversation the one poison pill I knew I’d have to fit into the date somehow. “Actually, I’m divorced.”
He’s surprised – a divorcee at 30. Can’t blame him, it came as a bit of a shock to me too. At least I’ve told him now, that’s the hard bit done with.
The conversation moves onto travel. We laugh about being Australians on the obligatory European 20-something tour of duty. I wax lyrical about the most beautiful place I went to – the Chateau de Bagnols in France. He talks about Prague. And running into Robert de Niro in some small town somewhere. About loaning a roll of film to the Raging Bull, who was really only interested in hitting on the waitress…
We try to work out our social family tree, but the six degrees of separation doesn’t seem to connect us. We have a couple of more drinks.
I go to the toilet for a breather. I wonder how I’m doing. Where’s my coach – isn’t this half time? I look at my reflection in the mirror above the sink, and wonder what kind of impression I’m making. I like him, but I wish I wasn’t so nervous. I wish I had a hairbrush. I wish I had the kind of shoes normal girls wear on dates.
When I walk back out to the lounge, I’m still concentrating on walking normally. I’m still rehearsing in my head how to speak normally, for god’s sake. I mean, I knew the internet blind thing was going to be a bit of a social experiment, but I’m not supposed to be the subject, god damn it. But I feel distinctly like I’m slipping around on a glass slide under a microscope.
When I get back to the table, I’m barely back in my seat before I blurt out “When I was in the bathroom, I was wondering if I’m living up to my ad…”
“Actually, I thought you’d be more of a bitch,” he says. He’s smiling as he says it. Isn’t he?
OK, so I’m not a bitch. I think that’s good. He means I’m nicer than he expected, right? Or does he mean nice in a boring way? Maybe he wanted a bitch, was expecting someone with bite. I have bite. I’m funny. I’m just being so damn awkward. Well, I am and I’m not. When we’re talking, I’m having fun. If I stop and think, I get awkward. Best not to think. Don’t look down. You’ll fluff your lines.
It’s getting late and we’re both doing the school night wilt. We drink up and start the polite, non-commital end of first date dance.
“Thanks,” I say. “It’s been fraught.”
Oh christ. As soon as it’s out of my mouth I want to double over and clap both hands over my mouth. I’m horrified at myself.
You can’t recover from this one, girl.
“Whoa,” he says, half laughing and throwing his hands up. I’ve just thrown cold water in his face. Christ, the poor guy.
I try to explain, but I feel like an 80 year old woman scrambling to pay for her shopping with five cent pieces. There’s no way I can do it in time.
“I didn’t mean anything about you,” I limp. “I just meant to say I was really awkward.”
Fraught? Who the fuck says fraught? I never even use that word. Why the fuck did I just say that? I mean, it’s exactly how I feel, but what the hell was I thinking actually saying it?
Can we fastforward to the part where we’re laughing about this later? Except I’m afraid that this will be one of those ‘Blind Date Horror Stories’ he amuses his friends with.
This is my future. In six months time I’ll be walking down King Street and he’ll be walking the other direction with his new girlfriend. We might say hello, but after they’ve walked a polite distance, the hairs on the back of my neck will prickle because he’s telling her the story of our blind date.
Yeah, well, it’s always so much funnier when it happened to someone else.
Posted by Sarah on Jan 21, 2010 in
Uncategorized A few people have been asking what’s been happening in 100 dates land, and the short answer is, I’ve been on Christmas holidays!
Unfortunately while I tried to line up some dates while I’ve been on holidays in Tasmania, it seems the guys down here are a little elusive. Maybe they’re shy? So I haven’t been on any new dates, but the Melbourne recommendations have kept rolling in, so hopefully I’ll have some new dates to report on next week after I get home.
In the meantime, I’ve been interviewed on the radio a couple of times, and I’ve been writing a column about my adventures for the ABC. Here are some links in case you missed them:
100 dates 3RRR radio interview (MP3)
ABC Unleashed column 1: Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Tweet me a Match
ABC Unleashed column 2: No Scientologists, No Smokers
ABC Unleashed column 3: A love letter to geeks
I was also interviewed by Sydney’s 2UE radio station, but I haven’t had a chance to upload the file yet – will try to do that once I’m back in Melbourne.
Posted by Sarah on Dec 29, 2009 in
Uncategorized Yesterday I woke to find I had gained a bunch of Italian Twitter followers overnight, and a few Facebook invitations. One guy had sent me a message saying “Good luck and if you’re ever in Rome I’ll buy you a drink.”
So I used Google Translate to create a tweet which said “Buon giorno, bella Italia! Come avete sentito la mia piccola storia?” (Hello Italy, how did you hear my little story?”)
Via Twitter I soon had a link to this story in La Repubblica.
I ran the story through Google Translate just for fun.My favourite line is: “But useless to search for elbowing to get into the good graces of the blonde Australian: this is not a mega blind date but a serious experiment that combines web and social development.” The story asks whether the 100 dates experiment might be as successful as Wikipedia. Sounds exhausting, but here’s hoping.
Hundred appointments via web
Sarah searches for the perfect man
Australian, 36 years, has launched an appeal online using the mechanism of crowdsourcing: “If all goes well to find a good restaurant, why not use the same road for the boyfriend?” of BENEDETTA PERILLI
hundred appointments via web
Sarah seeks the perfect man
Sarah Stokely
Sarah Stokely is 36 years old, excellent position in public relations, a house in Melbourne, good earnings, a dog, a divorce, and no man available to warm your heart. Single for too many years now and after trying every strategy for finding a soul mate, Sarah has decided to seek help from the web. 100 Dates With the project has launched an online appeal: “Going out with a hundred men in a hundred different events with the hope of finding the right one.” But useless to search for elbowing to get into the good graces of the blonde Australian: this is not a mega blind date but a serious experiment that combines web and social development. In particular it is an unusual form of crowdsourcing, the successful collaborative marketing strategy that has allowed companies such as Wikipedia to penetrate the market.
The concept is simple: people from all over the world join for free, or paid on call and provide their input in the realization of a project. Through the Web today are talking about crowdsourcing, neologism is a combination of two English words crowd (people) and outsourcing (contract), for all sorts of activities, from testing new products to search services, promotion of objects to the review films, books or records output. In short, if one can recourse to the contribution of the community to find the best mechanic in town why not try to do so to find the perfect boyfriend?
To help Sarah, there are at least 1692 people, precisely the number of users who follow his updates on Twitter. They will recommend to the girl the alleged suitors, but not without having first completed the questionnaire for joining the project. A hope is left to those who wants to present itself without having friends who recommended: you fill in the questionnaire and the findings on the suitability of the suitor is left to the reader.
But let’s get to the questions: to obtain an appointment must state the name, age, any public profiles on sites dating, personality, profession and interests of the “recommended”. We must also ensure that the person who is proposed to be aware of the project and specify which of these favorite activities as a first appointment: a drink in a bar, walk on the beach, a coffee center, a lunch, a visit to the zoo or a ‘ excursion between the penguins.
The responses will be evaluated by the users of blogs and Twitter for Sarah and if at least one of the readers will judge the likely suitor the concerned will be contacted and get an appointment with him. The project has already achieved some success at home and major newspapers have dealt with the story. Not only that the TV channel ABC Australia has offered a page of its website to Sarah to tell, appointment after appointment, as the research proceeds.
For the moment the proposals delivered to the mailbox and hundreds of girls are coming from all over the world: not only Melbourne, Sydney and Newcastle, but also San Francisco, Tasmania and New Zealand. Of these only three have already turned into appointments: all in Melbourne. In the former Sarah met for a drink a staunch supporter of the left in the second one is entertained in a relaxing picnic lunch in a botanical garden in the city and the third was canceled because the claimant had returned with his ex-girlfriend.
To know how it will end the romance of technology bloggers just continue to follow his stories online. And to whom the criticism, calling it even desperate, for making public his private life, Sarah responds in an interview with Australian newspaper Sydney Mornig Herald: “We constantly the opinion of our friends and when we feel a good restaurant we hasten to recommend on Facebook, why not do it on more intimate? “. Sarah sets a sort of crowdsourcing experience of pleasure. I wonder if will have the same success of Wikipedia.
